


Cold War, Hot Love

by rusames



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Angst, Depression, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Not Suitable/Safe For Work, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-30
Updated: 2016-03-30
Packaged: 2018-05-30 01:02:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6401578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rusames/pseuds/rusames
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>2P RusAme / Allen F. Jones is in a long distance relationship with his boyfriend, Viktor. Al, himself, is dealing with personal problems and must either get help or learn how to better himself if all possible before things become worse. </p>
<p>WARNING: This story contains mature content. It has explicit, graphic sex. It also deals with topics such as depression, self harm, and eventually to most likely, suicide. This may not be for everyone. Please, I advise you to read with caution. </p>
<p>Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cold War, Hot Love

**Author's Note:**

> If you came here to read a RusAme fanfiction, then great! This is only the first chapter, as I'm going to make this a multi chapter story. ALSO, this story contains mature content. It has explicit, graphic sex. It also deals with topics such as depression, self harm, and eventually to most likely, suicide. This may not be for everyone. Please, I advise you to read with caution. This specific chapter also has a homophobic slur in it used toward one of the characters. So again, I advise you to be careful. That is all.

Al stared at the drained, brunette in the mirror. He was done with everything. Done with everyone. He gazed upon the razor which sat atop the counter by the sink.

_I wonder how much it would hurt._

The empty young man heard footsteps coming closer. A wave of panic rushed through his body as he quickly tampered around, trying to find a place to hide the sharp object. Settling with hiding it among the drawer where various hair trinkets were kept, shutting it just in time as his brother opened the door, walking in without saying anything. No knock or some simple words such as "Excuse me".

He stood silent as his brother walked past him, watching him open the cabinet behind the mirror, retrieving what looked like a bottle of over the counter pain medicine. Al watched how Matt took a couple out of the bottle and popped them into his mouth, not even bothering to use a drink to help swallow. He locked eyes with the blonde for a few seconds, not opening his mouth to say anything.

"May I help you?" Matt asked, raising an eyebrow and pushing back a strand of hair that hadn't been in the sandy ponytail of his.

Al didn't reply. Instead he just stood there, not in the mood to talk to anybody.

"What's been wrong with you? You seem like you're not even the same person. What happened to throwing insults at me every time we crossed paths?"

Al rolled his eyes. "Nothing's wrong with me. I just don't want to bother talking to you anymore!"

Matt sighed. "Fine. Whatever. If you need me for whatever the hell you'll need me for, I'm going to be in my room. Watch porn or something, don't be like this."

Al turned away as Matt left. Immediately after the door was shut, Al turned to look at himself in the mirror again. He contemplated on several things before finally removing the blade before anyone could find it. He went to his room and looked around. He pulled out the drawer in his bedside table and placed it in there. Nobody bothered looking through his things anyway.

Al flopped onto his bed, placing his right arm behind his head as he lie still, staring at the ceiling.

_Matt's noticed now. Great. I have to make him think differently. Maybe pretending it was an off week for me will work. But who am I fucking kidding, he's so stubborn that I'm not even sure that it will._

He then thought about Viktor. God, he loved him. It had been awhile since the two last seen each other in person since it has to be long distance, but when they do meet..

Al could feel pressure starting to build up in his crotch. He felt so deprived of sex, that it had been a long time since him and Viktor last done it that he was craving touch badly.

He glided his left hand down to undo the fly of his pants. In a swift motion he pulled his zipper down and freed the straining cock from the boxers. Letting out a low groan as he wrapped his fingers around himself, he began to slide his hand in a jerking motion up and down.

_Fuck, this feels good. God.. if only Viktor was doing this to me instead. The way he'd tease me and fuck me..._

Gasps and moans filled the thin air for awhile. Deciding that it wasn't enough, Al reached over and grabbed the lubricant from the bedside table drawer. Squirting a good amount on his fingers, he positioned his body to where he was able to easily finger himself, thrusting his fingers in and out. Al became weaker the closer he was getting to ejaculation, feeling good for the first time in awhile.

The semen came, flooding out of his cock and making a mess. He was going to have to clean this before it became worse. But he suddenly felt like he needed sleep. He shut his eyes for what felt like a few minutes, but turned out to him taking a several hour long nap.

Al woke up sprawled out on his bed with his pants and underwear down to his ankles. Remembering what happened before he fell asleep, he groaned and rubbed his eyes with his hands, eventually squeezing the bridge of his nose. He kicked off his loose articles of clothing, not bothering to pull them back up. He pulled the covers up and turned on his side, staring at the wall. He shut his eyes again, only to hear his phone go off. Reaching to grab it, he tapped the text notification. It opened up to his conversation with Viktor.

Viktor: I just got off work. I'm going to have time off in a couple of weeks, so I figured I would come visit for a few days.

Al read the message over and over a couple of times, making sure he wasn't still asleep. He quickly typed a response.

Allen: What days?!

Al waited a few seconds, just as he was getting ready to close out of the message app, he seen the bubble with the three dots pop up.

Viktor: I am not one-hundred percent sure. I miss you.

Allen: Shit, babe. I can't wait. There's so much I'm going to do with you...

Viktor: Would you like to actually Skype in a bit? I have tomorrow off so we could stay up talking. That is if you're wanting to.

Allen: Fuck yeah. Anytime will work. Give me about fifteen minutes.

Viktor: Let me know when you're ready then.

Al put his phone on it's charger. Swinging his legs over the side of his bed, he took his shirt off and headed for the bathroom again.

Matt turned the corner and saw Al and frowned. "Put your clothes on."

Al rolled his eyes and gave his brother a rude hand gesture as he walked into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind him. He went and turned the knob to the warm side, letting the water pour into the tub. When it became the temperature he wanted, he turned the shower on and stepped in.

Ten minutes later, Al was back in his room, putting a fresh pair of boxers and a clean t-shirt on. He sent a message to Viktor saying he was on Skype and ready for whenever.

Viktor: Al?

Allen: Ya?

Viktor: It's been awhile since you and I, well..

Al had an idea of what Viktor was referencing.

Allen: Well..?

Viktor: I'm horny as hell. It's been a long time, Al. Can I see you naked on video?

Allen: I don't see why not. Anything else you'd request from me?

Viktor: Are you home by yourself right now?

Allen: No. Oliver and Francois are on some date while I'm stuck here with my stupid ass brother. But Matt won't care either way. He's probably already sexted with his boyfriend today anyway.

Viktor: Just lock your door.

Allen: I seriously doubt Matt would come in anyway, but if it makes you feel better.

Viktor: Not like I care..

Allen: You do.. It's flattering babe.

Viktor: Whatever. I'm about to call you through Skype.

Allen: Hurry it up then!

Al put his phone away as he stared at the brightly lit screen, waiting for the call. After fifteen or so seconds of waiting, he clicked the green phone button and answered the call.

He looked at his screen at his boyfriend's face and grinned.

"Took ya long enough. You have shitty internet or something?"

"I do have shitty internet, actually."

"What the hell kind of network do you Ruskies have anyway?

The elder just rolled his eyes. "Aren't you going to ask me how my day was?"

Al paused for a moment. "Nah. We're past the whole fuzzy couple shit at this point aren't we?"

"Well what are we now?"

Al shrugged. "I dunno. But we could be like fucking.. I don't know. You are a kinky son of a bitch though... I mean damn... You and I could make porn and sell it for a lot of money."

The Russian shrugged. "Maybe one day. For now what goes on in the bedroom stays between us."

Al smirked. "For now."

"You know you aren't doing what I asked of you before we even started this call."

"Oh what? Get naked? I'll let ya see me naked, don't worry. But first I need something from you."

Viktor raised a brow. "Such as?"

"You have to jack yourself off on camera."

A chuckle was heard. "Fine. I'll just masturbate to the sight of you naked then."

Al shrugged. "Fine by me."

"You're a slut, Allen."

"I'm your slut, babe. I do all this for you. If only I was there so I could suck you off while you fingered me.." the thought turned Allen on. He slowly inched his fingers past the waistband of his boxers.

"Someone's hormones are crazy tonight."

"You make them crazy, asshole." Al had started to touch himself through the thin material, god what was with him tonight?

"Are you.. are you masturbating?"

"So what if I am? Why don't you do it too?"

Viktor stood from his seat, revealing the hardened cock, leaking precum.

Al pulled his own throbbing member out of his boxers, stroking faster, looking at the sight in front of him.

Viktor had cheeky grin plastered on his face. "Like what you see, don't you?"

"Mm.. And what if I do?"

A chuckle was heard through the poor laptop speakers. "Admit it, filthy whore."

Al grinned smugly. "Why should I?"

The Russian rolled his eyes. "Being stubborn I see."

"Shut up and touch yourself," Al groaned, not wanting things to be dragged out any further.

"You're in no position to give me demands."

"You aren't either." Al felt the cum running from his penis, feeling it hit himself in the face. "Your turn."

Viktor sat back so Allen could see him stroking his erection. He done so in a slow manner, almost painful for Al to watch.

"How much you wanna bet that you wish the hand touching your monstrous cock was mine?"

Viktor panted, eventually stroking in faster motions.

Al watched with gleaming eyes. "I know what you're thinking."

"And what's that?" Viktor asked, fondling himself on camera

"You're imagining how you'd bury your dick in my ass.. I know you are.."

"Sounds like you're imagining it more than I am."

"Well you don't get to feel the sensation I do as you ram into me, ripping my insides."

Viktor had then came onto his hand, collecting what he could so it wouldn't be a big mess to clean up later.

"I guess all of this dirty talk got to you," Al gloated. "I could always do a few more things on camera for ya!"

Viktor thought for a moment. "Surprise me."

Al rolled off of his bed. In the background through Viktor's speakers, you could hear things getting violently shifted around. For a few seconds the noise had stopped.

A minute later, Al crawled back onto his bed, however he had taken off any clothes he had been wearing since the start and appeared to be holding a dildo in his right hand. Viktor watched, not taking an eye off of the young man. Al pushed the laptop to the end of his bed where the camera would be able to get a good view of him. He grabbed the lubricant off of the bedside table and squirted a good amount onto his hand while spreading his legs some, leaning to where the camera had a clear shot of his penis, balls, and anus.

Al began slowly teasing his hole, trying to make a show for Viktor. First he used his fingers to lightly graze over the hole, rubbing it. He pushed one of the lubricated fingers inside, a moan escaping from his mouth. He fingered the hole, inserting a second digit shortly after using just the one. Pants and gasps came out as he continuously felt his fingers corrupting the hole. He imagined the fingers inside being Viktor's, moaning the Russian's name.

The two badly wanted each other, and while they were doing the best they could with probably some of the shittiest webcams out there, it still wasn't enough.

Al eventually removed his fingers and replaced them with the dildo. He fucked himself with the long, plastic object, moaning from the pleasure and sensation. He started trying to force the dildo in more, not caring about any possible pain he could be feeling. He continuously moaned Viktor's name over and over between the swears he shot out.

The elder could only be turned on at the sight. Watching the dildo being pushed and pulled from his lover's hole, seeing how the American was getting so much pleasure out of the activity. He was already touching himself a second time, aroused at the idea that Al had been imagining the dildo as his own dick.

Al had came, pulling the dildo out and dropping it, not caring where it went. He had worn himself, his arm feeling like a noodle from the work he had done. Viktor had came a little while after, not bothering to clean up this time.

Allen glanced at the camera where he could see Viktor still watching him. He moved, sitting back up to where he could talk to him.

"You really outdone yourself this time." Viktor said, smiling at him.

"But it made you happy. You're smiling. You don't smile a lot. Besides it was nothing... I said I did all of this for you, and I meant it." Al hummed. "Love ya, babe."

"I only smile when talking to you, really. I wish that I already had my time off so I could be with you right now." Viktor responded.

"You just wanna be with me so you can fuck me into my mattress." Al joked. "Just a few weeks and you can do that, don't worry," he said, smirking.

Viktor had rolled his eyes. "You will most likely be living with me in my hotel room for the time being."

"Forget the damn hotel room and come stay with me in my room at my house. My family honestly doesn't give a shit as long as they don't hear us fucking like rabbits in here. They've met you and like you enough that you're welcome here anytime." Al hoped he'd take his suggestion.

"Whatever you want, Al. Maybe then we'll be spending a lot of time together." The Russian yawned.

"Tired?" Al asked. Viktor nodded in response.

"How about we end the Skype call and continue talking whenever both of us are awake tomorrow. Get sleep. You don't have to push yourself."

"I know that. But I wanted to talk to you for a bit before I went to bed."

"Which you did, so go ahead and sleep now, babe. Rest well, you deserve it." Al grinned at his sleepy partner.

"Good night, Allen. I love you."

Al felt happy for once. Like someone truly had loved and cared for him. He had a warm feeling inside. He finished saying his goodnights with Viktor, ending the call between them. He plugged his laptop in it's charger along with his phone, stretching for a moment before crawling under his sheets and curling up in bed.

He stared blankly at the wall, replaying the night's activities through his mind. Thinking about Viktor's words gave him a cheesy grin. It was the small things his boyfriend did that really helped him get through the day.

Al no longer felt miserable like he did a few hours earlier. It was nice, being happy for once and not letting bullshit cloud his mind and keeping him down.

_Too bad this feeling is only temporary.. At least if I wake up feeling shitty Viktor will be able to take time to talk to me,_ he thought.

Al yawned and turned to face the other direction, readjusting to get in a more comfortable position. He shut his eyes and allowed his mind to wander off into deeper thoughts. The more he thought, the worse his mood increasingly became.

His eyes were now open, staring through the window at the sky as negative thoughts continuously invaded his mind.

_You're worthless. Nobody likes you. Your boyfriend is going to leave you. Remember what your ex-best friend said? Nobody likes a pathetic, cocky shithead. You won't get anywhere in life._

Al curled up more into his sheets as he remembered everything ever said and done to him in his past. All of the names he was called, how everyone talked about him behind his back. Just because he was different, because of the way he grew up. He felt his lips quiver and tears swell in his eyes.

_Fuck. Not now. Please. Don't cry, Al. Dammit, don't cry!_

"Was there something you wanted to tell me?" a bright and young figure beamed from Al's memory.

A teenaged Allen stood looking at the floor beneath him, fumbling around with his fingers.

"Well?" the boy asked, cocking his head.

"You won't want to be my friend anymore if I tell you." Al mumbled.

"What makes you say that?" the boy seemed slightly distraught.

"You're not open minded! Nobody in this shit hole is!" Al exclaimed, now looking at the person he had called his best friend, balling his fists. "I'm not straight.. Happy now?"

The boy stood in silence for a moment before spouting a remark. "What makes you think I would have reacted negatively?"

"Don't give me that load of bull! I know you to act homophobic at times!" Al shot back, starting to shake with anger.

The boy frowned. "Just because I don't necessarily agree with that way doesn't mean I'm homophobic."

Al felt his tears hitting his pillow as they slid down his face, recalling the time that he came out to what was his best friend of about ten years. Somehow word had spread throughout the school, and shortly after, everyone, including some people he had trusted and was close with, turned their back on him.

"Hey, pansy-ass!" a jock had called out to Al as he was carrying his lunch to be eaten in the library alone where nobody would bother him.

Al ignored the jock and continued walking to the library. He suddenly felt hands pushing him against the brick interior wall, which took him by surprise, forcing him to drop his lunch.

"Don't ignore me, cocksucker!" the jock bellowed. "Where's your little boyfriend at, huh? Wish he was here so you could suck his dick?" The insults caused an uproar of laughter from the crowd that had collected around them. Al glared, swinging his arm and punching the jock in the face, which surprised him, causing him to step back a time or two.

"You motherfucker!" he yelled, throwing a punch, hitting Al's jaw and sending him onto the ground. "I should fucking kill you, you damn faggot!"

Al had begun to taste a metallic, irony flavor in his mouth. Blood. He was definitely bleeding. He felt around with his tongue, where the pain was in his jaw along with the source of where blood was coming from. He could feel a gap between two of his teeth.

Before the jock could do any more damage, a teacher came out to stop the commotion, sending everyone else away from the two. Al went straight to the bathroom to wash his mouth out, rinsing away any taste of blood. He stood in front of a mirror and opened his mouth, tilting his head up to examine the plain to see gap where his incisor used to be.

After that, Al had been suspended for a week only for fighting back. But when he came back, everything was back to normal. What used to be his friend no longer talked to him. Nobody was there for him except for his family, but he was never fond of his family's company anyway.

Al shifted once more, his crying calmed down some. He felt so gross. His face was wet with his tears, along with having a drenched pillow. He wiped his face with his hand and sighed.

_I'm such a pathetic wimp. I'm not supposed to cry. I shouldn't cry. Crying is for the weak._

He repeated the phrases over and over in his mind until he drifted off to a deep and cold sleep.


End file.
